Yes, it is a New Year. And everyone is partied out...you can see it on their faces. Even I am, and I am not much of a partier anyway, but it seemed that New Year's Eve was a good time to do it. I spent the entire next day in bed, mostly. Until I rolled onto the floor and crawled into the living room where my cousin was half on and half off of the couch. She did manage to just barely lift her head up and attempt a feeble smile and croak out a "hey", which I know was the equivalent of "Good Morning most beautiful Goddess cousin, what a fine day it is!" We ended up spending the rest of the evening growing roots in the furniture and watching movies. Ironically, that is what we had planned to do New Year's Eve. But funny thing about that, she seems to attract all the wayward boys in her apartment complex, and where there are good looking boys there is always trouble! Party time it was, and a good time was had by all. She found a new "contemplation". And my vow of chastity has remained intact. In fact I would have to say it has even strengthened. Just being around all those bad boys made me realize exactly what I don't want. And exactly what I do. Hanging out with these guys made me remember just why I started this whole online dating thing to begin with. When I finally dragged myself into work today I was so busy I forgot to login to my IM. by the time I did, my sweetheart T1 in training, was also online. Mind you he did not call me on New Year's Eve or the next day...in fact he hasn't called me at all because his "friends" have been in town. And still are. I still don't really understand why that would impair someone from using a phone to talk to what could possibly be the love of your life, although he has expressed how embarassing it would be to have to explain that to our children one day. I figure he is ashamed that he met me online and doesn't want to have to explain it to his friends. I really don't agree with this particular bit of reasoning. I mean, it makes no sense because, say we do meet, and we really do fall in love, and then we end up meeting each other's families and friends, he is going to make up some lie to explain how we met? And I am going to have to go along with it? I cannot see myself lying to all his friends and family, especially since I have already told everyone who means anything in my life all about him...including how we met. He said he just HAS to lie about it. One of his co-workers makes fun of a couple (friends of theirs) who met online, by calling them losers. This is coming from an emotionally backed up, bully, who can't even keep a girl friend because he keeps stalking them! But WE would be called losers? I don't know which is worse, being called a loser by a real loser, or having your future lover care that we are going to be called losers by a real loser. Here is our IM today: T1 (1:16:52 PM): hi there T1 (1:16:55 PM): how r u (heart smiley) goddess (1:19:31 PM): good, how are you T1 (1:19:49 PM): im fine. just working T1 (1:19:52 PM): r u working goddess (1:20:34 PM): Oh yeah T1 (1:20:45 PM): same here goddess (1:20:46 PM): how was your new years eve T1 (1:20:55 PM): im tired of working goddess (1:20:58 PM): me too T1 (1:21:00 PM): slow goddess (1:21:07 PM): I need a vacation T1 (1:21:24 PM): and im tired of my friends in my house! RRRRRrrrrrr goddess (1:21:25 PM): New years eve was slow? T1 (1:21:29 PM): i need a vacaton too T1 (1:21:50 PM): yes goddess (1:22:01 PM): When do they leave T1 (1:22:16 PM): jan 6 goddess (1:22:29 PM): What? goddess (1:22:35 PM): that sucks goddess (1:22:45 PM): when did they get there? T1 (1:23:52 PM): like last weekend goddess (1:24:42 PM): Whew goddess (1:24:51 PM): that's a long time goddess (1:25:27 PM): just hang in there honey goddess (1:25:38 PM): a few more days T1 (1:26:10 PM): (kissing smiley) goddess (1:26:22 PM): I know I"M hanging in there...and it's really hard on me because I don't even get to hear your voice goddess (1:26:31 PM): mua T1 (1:26:41 PM): (kissing smiley) goddess (1:26:52 PM): (kissing smiley) goddess (:27:53 PM): I wished I had gotten a new years eve kiss from you T1 (1:28:11 PM): mmmmm, that would have been super great! goddess (1:28:14 PM): but I settled for a champagne toast with my cousin and some friends T1 (1:28:38 PM): lol goddess (1:31:43 PM): Yeah it kinda turned into a big party! goddess (1:31:54 PM): it was fun goddess (1:32:08 PM): what did you guys do T1 (1:32:45 PM): went to a friends home...just had drinks goddess (1:33:27 PM): well I hope you at least had a good time goddess (1:37:11 PM): did you think about me? T1 (1:37:48 PM): always think about u goddess (1:38:03 PM): always think about you too T1 (1:54:32 PM): i must get going. talk to u later. xo T1 (1:54:34 PM): (heart smiley) goddess (1:54:40 PM): xxoo goddess (1:54:42 PM): k goddess (1:54:44 PM): bye bye goddess (1:54:58 PM): (kissing smiley) I don't know if I can survive this long distance love affair I v'e never been that stong but something in the things we say makes me smile along your love I feel it in your voice, and every waking moment I lie awake thinking of you and picture you above me tracing the contours of your face I know them all by heart I run my fingers through your hair and look into your soul I imagine that you hold me close your body's warmth I feel slipping into dreamy slumber your true nature is revealed we twist and turn I follow you through stars as bright as day and your loving face smiles upon me as we laugh and fly and play when I awaken in the morning refreshed like life is new I know that very morning you were feeling the same thing too knowing there is more to you than a picture, an e mail, or a phone call the miles between us cannot dull the essence of our hearts true meaning even when all I hear from you is an IM in the afternoon, in my head I hear your voice, "We shall be together soon!" I may be a sap my Goddess sister's, but it's only because even girls like me, really attractive, fun girls who hold down full time positions, who put in that overtime, to make sure everything runs smoothly, who make themselves indispensible to their jobs and their families and their friends, and work to have a lovely home, and a lovely body and try to have a life somewhere in between....well Goddesses like us...we need more than all that to be complete...we need love too! Good night my Goddess sister's, good night to the God's we choose to have by our sides. Sleep well....and dream better!