Well I have decided that he is the one. Martin Diego, for now. I had this whole "not gonna do it" thing down. But I let my emotions get the best of me, and have found myself smack down in the middle of a full fledged relationship. Yes that's right folks, I now officially have a "boyfriend". And he does a lot of things to annoy me, but I know that I would probably have to put up with a lot worse if I had chosen someone else. Besides he makes me really happy most of the time. A sweeter, kinder, more gentle lug I will not find. Although there was one boy I never had the opportunity to meet. Cartwright, my online chat buddy who moved from Fort Worth to San Antonio. We really have a lot in common, our sense of things seems to be equal. And he loves The Edwardian and Victorian sense of style, that I have always tried to incorporate into my modern day existance. Sometimes I think maybe I should've given Cartwright an opportunity, but the timing never seemed right. Both times we tried to meet never turned out. The first time was at my suggestion....now I realize that he wasn't ready. And perhaps he was talking a better game than what he had. Then turned it around and after romancing me online, and trying to get me to take the bait he had the nerve to act like I had infringed upon some sensibility he had about being old fashioned, by making the first move. Now there is old fashioned and there is practical. I figured since he talked the talk I would see if he could walk the walk. he didn't. He canceled on me. Whih was fine because I wasn't feeling particularly goddess like that morning anyway. The second time I think he really just sabotaged himself, perhaps out of fear of...oh...I don't know...rejection? Gun shy maybe? Too nervous to meet me in person? I don't really know. He cited failure in his vehicle as the reason, and couldn't make the hour drive due to it being in the shop. Again I could be wrong and he may have been absolutely telling the truth. But that doesn't change the fact that he stood me up twice, and we hadn't even met yet, which made me very uncomfortable. I just got the feeling that he wasn't really telling me everything. Regardless, I felt stood up! I decided when I hung up the phone with him that he really had no chance with me. What I do know is that he is too busy to chat anymore, and maybe he knew that he wasn't really going to have time for me...especially since he lives in San Antonio. Consequently, I had a decision to make. I used what information and knowledge I had and applied it. Martin was here...in the now...and by far the best I had the opportunity to spend time with.