This was written on a scratch piece of paper 7/21/2009

It seems as though today, and many other days, clients, or people acting as such have the need to beat up on me. I am getting a vibe here that to some not so nice people, I am not welcome. Regardless ofhow I handle something or what I say, they will just keep trying to cut me down. Is race a factor? Age? Being middle class perhaps it is the fact that i am all of that and have confidence anyway...it seems to be offensive to some. As if they want me to cow tow, or run away crying. I am not much of a runner, and I am no mouse. The thought of scurrying away doe s not appeal...not my style. but, I am becoming tired, worn, with a heavy weight on my chest. Lastnight knocked me down another notch. It was as if he came back just to mess up my mind. justlike when he left. It has all been just sheer agony. The rawness of the feeling is burning up m face now as I hold in the cyclone of rage inside. Andi continue to write as everyone goes on around me as usual.