I am goddesses lost and broken heart spiraling downward into an desolate pit of lonliness and despair. My T1 in training has finally let me in on the big secret. I was already going to delete him from my buddy list because four days is just too long to not hear from the man that I am saving myself for. The man who is supposed to be waiting for me too. The man I had chosen. I noticed that he was jumping online and then he would not be online all of a sudden. That happened a couple of times and I thought "This is just ridiculous! Are we in freaking junior high all over again?" So I IM'd him knowing he was really there even though I couldn't "see" him. I am not one to play games so I plainly asked "Why don't you just save the trouble of having to hide from me online and either tell me what is going on or just delete me from your list" That was at 5:04 P.M. (6:04 Virginia time) very soon after that he sent me an E-mail this is what it said: hi, i know you have been wandering why i have not been talking with you lately but i do have a reason. i am very attracted to you but i am dating someone at this time and i have to be honest with you, her and me. you are very nice and pretty but i am invovled with someone else at this time. NO, im not married but i have a girl friend. i know you dont understand why i lead you on and may never understand...but i feel my flirting with you really has got me into trouble for not being honest and i feel very bad...i would really like to meet you but i cant...i wish things could be different at this time. sorry...no excusses! :o( I first would like to address this one little issue well it is my little issue. This guy either has a very bad grasp of the English language, or he just doesn't pay attention to detail. Silly little thing I know, but I ususlaly don't overlook something like that at the very beginning. I would normally do the let's be friends conversation, but silly me, I thought he was just too cute to be dumb. No wonder he never really said a whole lot unless we were talking on the phone. Okay, so who else saw this coming? When I read this I became extremely upset and had to excuse myself to the ladies room so that I could cuss him out as tears were streaming down my face. I wrote him a letter back asking those stupid questions that people who get dumped ask, but know that if they knew the truth it wouldn't make a bit of difference anyway. It's over. I half expected him to reply or at least call and be a man. He had no trouble telling me about how great everything was going to be and how one of us was going to have to move, or how he wanted to make love to me for days, and be inside me, and there were just too many things that we said to each other that seemed so real. I feel like a total dumbass now for believing. I guess hope really does spring eternal in the human heart.