Regardless of everything I have done in the last couple of weeks. From being understanding, to crying in despair. To wanting to leave him, and him asking me for another chance. To being seperated for four days. All the questioning, and the deep conversations. From him almost breaking up with me...again, to me giving us a "break". Back to being understanding, and forgiving him (even though he wouldn't have told me anything about what she propositioned him unless I had beat it out of him).To realizing I am really in love with him. To creating a personal card just for him, and even leaving him alone sometimes, not even asking him anything. It seems that he is still going to deny , no wait, not even deny, he is just not going to share whatever conversations he may have with whatshername, or the letter he was supposed to write to her regarding the situation. He hasn't said anything about cancelling that damned dating service he subscribed to before meeting me, and he is still up in the air about what he is going to do when he graduates. But I do get alot of lip service. Like about how he is going to see if there is a dojo here in town where he can do martial arts...after he graduates of course. Or how he will be applying around town. How the chances of him staying have increased. What am I supposed to think here? But he did give me the opportunity to back out of moving in with him today. My deadline is actually 5:00 pm today. So he has gotten all the sex a man can handle, and all my love. My heart, my affection and adoration. He has gotten a hot, sexy, nympho-like girlfriend, who is fun, and loves him...and what do I get? Confusion, doubt, anxiety, stress, depression, moments of feeling like Cat on a hot tin roof and more confusion. Okay, okay. I may be the cause of some of the doubt, and stress, but that is all I will admit to. And I know I have a hot boyfriend too.(Well I think so) and his gentle nature kills me everytime. I know he loves me, but I am just left wondering. If he really wanted me to move in, why so many opportunities to not do it. Why so many twists in the road? One day I am told this is the last opportunity, and then I am told that Monday is my deadline. Then I am told on Monday "Oh thanks for the application, but we don't need it, but you can still move in." Now it is down to the last few hours, and he offers me the opportunity to "back out now or forever hold your peace". I mean talk about stretching it out! Okay now that I have gone on my little rant, The reason he gave for talking to me about it is this...he said he knew I had doubts about it before so he just wanted to make sure I really wanted to do this. I asked him if he really wanted to do this. His answer: "Sure". Not "yes" Or "absolutely" just "Sure". He thought it would be fun at least 50 percent of the time and the rest of the time may be hell. I am not so sure if he is sure, which in turn makes me little less sure of the situation myself. But I do know that he is cleaning his apartment as I write this, and that can't be bad.