What the *uck Ever!
Well as I sit here at my desk today eating my very large and affordable cucumber, tomato and avocado salad that I brought from home, I stewed. You see, last night I was invited to dinner with my boss and some other folks from the office. Food was good. Company was really good. a great time was had by all. I had about three margaritas so as you can imagine I was feeling quite nice. I got home, got comfortable and decided to eat my leftover flan. It was divine. I don't think I could've been feeling any better at this point unless I had a man at my feet rubbing away the day's worries, and kissing away the vanilla liquer topping that had dripped right in my cleavage. So I am lounging, and thinking, and looking at the phone, and thinking. And I get this overwhelming urge. So what do I do? What is the one thing in Catarina's little book of no no's? I pick up the phone. Wait! I know it is starting to sound really bad right? Well it probably is or I wouldn't be feeling like this about it now. So let me first tell you that I have been having a little flirtation with a certain someone via e mail. It's not that crazy because we used to hang out...in high school but we have always been friends, good ones I always thought. But we haven't talked for at least a decade!(Okay it is actually closer to almost two decades, but that doesn't really matter) My memory has faded most of it, but what I remember is good. Just really really good. I have always thought he was adorable but never did anything about it. (His friend was my boyfriend) I guess when I saw his face on that profile I just had to say something. So we began e mailing, I have seen pics, he has seen mine but I never really get a lot of time to get to know him. He always invites me to these events that he hosts and because of some recent big changes at work I am having to pull double shifts and weekends until it is all settled, so I haven't been able to go. But also I noticed that it seems like he has a LOT of female friends, and if I want to get to know him and have a quiet conversation I don't think an event with them all there is how it's going to happen for me. At times we have good rapport. And others he says nothing. Am I reading too much into this? I know I am just over analyzing like I do everything in my life. Once in an e mail to all his friends he said he had lost phone numbers or something like that and that if we wanted to give them to him to e mail it, and if we haven't previously we could now. I wrote him a cute e mail about how I wasn't sure we were at that point, and he said he thought we were. So we exchanged numbers. That made me feel good you know? Feedback is good. It enables you to make decisions about what to do next...leave it be or take it to the next level? I decided this was as good a time as any to go forward....and let me say right now, there should be a law against picking up the phone when you are feeling that good, it can be deceiving! I left a kinda sexy, fun, sweet message even though I didn't expect to get voicemail after 18 years of not hearing each others voices! He didn't call me right back and after very little thought I realized that I sounded totally stupid and called again to try to well I don't know for damage control I guess...yes I know I am kicking myself still!!!! I decided then and there that I am never calling him again. He never did call me, and that makes this all that much more humiliating you know. Like I am some kind of stalker or something. I feel like a complete idiot! But seriously, he led me to think we were communicating on some level, and I didn't think it was out of bounds at the time. Even now it doens't seem out of bounds when I take everything into consideration. The sexually explicit poetry, the invitations to parties, the suggestive e mails. Geez...you think you know people....