Well yesterday turned out to be the perfect day for a workday. I was busy all day, and never thought of anything other than what was presented to me. Smiled and nodded. Stuck to my own business, and went home. Martin showed up a few minutes later, it seemed he was in one of those moods. Kissing on my neck, and lips for about a half an hour. There we were laughing and making out like teenagers, I coyly ask "What are you doing?". "I don't know." he replys. We giggle together and he kisses me deeper. I start to get carried away when all of a sudden he shyly whispers in my ear "Will you kiss it?". Mirroring him from earlier I say "I don't know.". "Why don't you know?" he coos. "Well just like you didn't know what you were doing...". "Will you kiss it? It will be worth your while." I stopped and stared at the ceiling, you could have heard a pin drop. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Worth my while?" He nods at me excitedly with big round eyes and a cheesy grin. With a skeptical glare into his eyes I reach down to touch it, and feel...well besides his excitement, something else. It was something papery making his jeans protrude even further than usual. I slowly uzip his jeans and my eyes popped out of my head, I had found tickets sticking out of them. Two tickets to be exact, to see George Lopez! Woohoo! To which I become very excited myself. I went ahead and kissed it.Bouncing and rolling around like a little girl, my eyes wide and smiling all I can say is "No Way! No way! Oh my God...I am going to see George Lopez! Yay!" Then I planted kisses all over his face. "Thank you baby!" "I wanted to get your birthday present early, since our scheduling seems to always be off." he tells me. I grinned from ear to ear for the rest of the evening. And of course I showed my umm, appreciation (read I did a whole lot more than just kiss it!). Oh yeah I also made a homeade cheese enchilada dinner to boot.

Okay, so he showed up, just like he had said the whole week before. And was completely baffled as to why I was giving him major amounts of attitude. Blah blah blah, all I ever do is talk about how my boyfriend is insensitive, and doesn't listen to me, and never gives me what I really want, because it seems like he still doesn't know me sometimes. It's time to stop. I think by putting so much energy into the negative, I may be propelling it further. Nothing is really changing anyway. And the progress that is made is very small, but noticeable only to me. However it will continue to be an uphill battle, it always has been it seems. So I give up now. I know not what to do any longer. He wins. I am defeated. I have officially decided that I don't care anymore. I care as much as he does. No more, and no less. One day I am treated nicely. He wants me to leave another day. He needs me again that same day. He forgets about me the next. I am treated in whatever manner suits him at the time for his convenience. So I proclaim here and now,I am going to live like he does. Try to see things through his eyes. Live for the moment. Whatever is in front of me is reality. Never mind about the other people who are not family members. They may care deeply, and sincerely, but they are secondary. Perhaps not even secondary, perhaps they are non-existant. Just ride the rollercoaster I suppose. Hopefully it will all turn out okay. maybe we will marry one day, maybe he will leave me, I may get fed up and leave him myself, who knows! But this over-analyzing of minutea is beginning to bore even me. So no more Martin Diego. It stops now. Goodbye...good riddance. Wish me luck!I hope I can make it stick.